top of page

The Great Zoom In, Zoom Out

(For a more sensory experience, put on the track AVENOIR by .diedlonely while reading).




Psalms 103:15-18

The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.



If you’re looking to have a deep-seated encounter with profound thought, then look no further than the Netflix documentary entitled, “A Trip to Infinity.” I stumbled upon it a few nights ago and sat down with my husband to watch it. We both found ourselves tripping out as leading physicists and mathematicians attempted (heavy emphasis on the attempt) to explain endless time and unlimited numeric value. My warmed glass of rosé sat unfinished on the ottoman in front of me as I tried to absorb the concept that infinity is just that… a concept. One physicist did his best to explain his understanding of infinity; a circle. No ending. No beginning. Just existence. Infinity is at the point of zero. Somehow, it also manages to be everything, everywhere, all the time.


Woof… I’m exhausted already.


The idea of anything existing “forever” often confounds me. I think it does for most humans. After all, we are frail and fragile beings with egos, insecurities, and limitations. As the psalm above describes, our lives come and go as just a single blade of grass blown to the wind. And— if time thrives as an abundant universe, then our seemingly giant and very important purpose here on earth would seem insignificant.


At times, I’ve found this verse disheartening. I’ve recently felt as if time is slipping through my fingers like sand in an hourglass. Weeks and months pass in a blink of an eye. My nieces and nephews are growing at an alarming rate. They only just began speaking in full sentences and teaching me profound lessons through their innocent perspective. I hope and pray that never changes. And yet, I know it’s only a matter of time before their wide eyes will turn away from mine to begin to explore the world in other places. This precious little blip of bedtime stories and singing lullabies to get them to sleep will pass. Another phase of their fleeting life will emerge. They’ll leave for college. They’ll get married. On some future Christmas Eve, the parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents will sit around a quiet fireplace and raise a toast and ask the ageless question Where did the time go?


Such is with every generation of every family for infinite millenniums. Birth to death, and death to rebirth. Beginning to end, and end to beginning. The circle of life washes, rinses, and repeats.


However, as I ponder the verse further, I realize that its message goes deeper. It is not a verse intended to convince us of our fragility, but rather to remind us to remain humble. It places importance on finding joy in simplicity because our lives are short, but they are still valuable and worth living. Don’t let your selfish pride convince you that you are more than just a small, breakable cog in a giant and eternal machine.


I’m reminded of something my dad often says whenever we get into one of our many deep and philosophical discussions about spirituality… “Comprehending God for humans is like an ant trying to learn calculus. We know so little.”


The biggest goal that I've set for myself this year is learning how to deeply value the present. Whenever I find my mind wandering to doubts and fears as I attempt to work, I pause. I close my eyes and take deep breaths, in and out. I extend my hand to feel the cold glass of water sitting in front of me on my desk. I run my fingernails through my hair and relish the simple pleasure that the sensation brings me. I move my body to music. I listen to my cat Abraham snoring on the pillow and smile at his unawareness of how much joy his itty bitty toe beans have brought into my life. In other words, I zoom in.


Feelings of unworthiness are often synonymous with feeling as if life is just too big, and we are just too small. When we feel insignificant, it’s important to grasp the physical around us. Narrowing in on the simple details that we often overlook can aid in finding meaning in the mundane. At least, this has been the case for me. I may just go outside after finishing this piece to hold a single blade of grass in my hand while I enjoy a sunny April afternoon. In essence, gratitude for the simplest of miracles raises our vibration. Adversely, comprehending infinity and all its unexplainable glory sits us back into our seats with reverence. It also transforms a once-chilled glass of wine into a lukewarm one.

The perspective of ourselves and how we fit into the grand scheme of life is key to our well-being. Too small, and we lose ourselves in the mess. Too giant, and we lose our connection to anything real and worth living for. The key is finding the happy middle ground where balance is achieved. This place is blissful; full of joy and wisdom.

My favorite place to exist is within the creative flow. It often takes me somewhere around a half hour of writing to find the doorway into this boundless and open frontier… once I’m in it, I’m free. I’m ageless, formless. It’s a purely spiritual and metaphysical phenomenon, and it’s my favorite place in existence to be… I’m in it right now, and DAMN, it hits good. The state of creation is the purest drug known to man and you cannot convince me otherwise. It’s the closest to reaching infinity that you or I could ever achieve. I truly believe in my little heart of hearts that God desires this for us above all else. It’s why He created us; to share in the divine flow of creation, and to find meaning and purpose in sharing it with others.


I’ll wrap up this post with this; your life is valuable. It is also fleeting. If possible, reach out for that bliss state at the core of your humanity where humility and greatness collide. I’ll meet you there with a smile and a pat on the back.


All the very best in this lifetime,

Mary

Comentários


bottom of page