Come on, Get Happy

"The problem, it seems, isn’t in wanting more for ourselves, for our lives. It is in the convoluted thought that because we desire something that we do not currently have, that we are in a position of lack. It’s possible to wish for something so desperately that we end up placing this desire above our own worthiness of it."

Not going to lie...

I'm having one of those impossibly amazing weeks, one where I feel completely tapped in and turned on…one that is pulling in monstrous waves of creative passion like the moon pulls the tides. With immense gratitude, I can report that I woke up this past Monday feeling finally free from the negative thoughts that have consumed me as of recent. All the while, I kept asking myself over my morning coffee what had changed. Had I slipped into a different dimension in a dream and woken up in someone else’s reality? Had I fallen out of bed and bumped my head?

I didn’t know when or how the shift had happened.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my nocturnal behavior. This week, I’ve been sleeping soundly through the night. I’ve also been reaching my word count before the clock even strikes three pm, and what’s more, I have an endless storage bin filled with enthusiasm inside of me to keep going. My fingers cannot type fast enough and my heart longs for more of this creative-flow energy. Naturally, I wish to frolic about on this visionary playground for as long as the sun continues to rise and set over it. Every artist craves constant motivation and inspiration, but up until a few days ago, I thought such a desire was a pipe-dream.

Two weeks ago, I was in the throes of one of my many writing fits when I put forth my desire to never have another ‘episode’ ever again. This “calling out” of my desire reminds me of a vision I had many years ago. While living in NYC, I had what I thought was a daydream of me walking into a colorful space with a cup of tea in hand. I approached a desk, sat down in a comfortable chair, and began to write. This vision came out of my own desire to be a writer, to create a realm and characters that had not previously existed. I wanted to bring a new story to the world, one that might help a younger audience claim their power and purpose.

I spoke to God from the depths of my heart. I prayed for a story, the kind of epic tale that would hold me captive for years, keep me entertained and stimulated. I didn’t know then what the story would be, I just knew that when the idea would hit, that it would knock me off of my feet. Only weeks later, God planted a seedling in my heart that now, four years later, has blossomed into a giant, far-reaching tree. The tree has seen many seasons, and yet, it has endured. Its roots have deeply embedded themselves into my soul, and have changed me for the better. This story has made me a different woman, one who desires more for her life, one who dares to ask profound questions of her Creator, and, one who doesn’t shy away from what is uncomfortable or taboo. This woman is bold, wise and doesn’t dull her shine. She is unapologetically outspoken about her love of stories.

I can proudly say that I now live out my vision from four years ago every. Single. Day.

Thoughts really do become our reality!

Desire, I’ve realized, is a very powerful tool. The simple act of desiring to be in a creative mindset opens the door to my inspirational haven.

Some would say that my most recent step into creative flow came out of a time of darkness; it is so easy to become discouraged on a path of solitary creative pursuit. In many ways, this is true. This new woman was born out of that solitude, of that doubt and stumbling in the dark. But, when I recall those moments of despair, I realize that though they changed me, they weren't responsible for the change sticking. This super-woman inside of me can quickly mask herself as a common citizen if I'm not consciously choosing to be her.

And trust me; I know what you're thinking... I'm thinking it too. I've been here before, haven't I? I’ve experienced sunlit days in my work, days that have given me a false expectation that I would never walk through a darkened forest again. However, this glorious step into the temperate meadow feels different, as if I’ve finally come to understand just how special my path really is.

As I said, desire is powerful. It has the ability to bring a wellspring of abundance into our lives. But, I’ve realized that I have to match my desires by putting myself in a position to receive them. I have to believe that I’m deserving of these weeks and that they can easily become my reality so long as I choose the path, I choose my desires and set my eyes on them as if they are already in my hands.

I can’t guarantee that I will never have a bad day of writing ever again, but on those days, I will recall this week with gratitude. I will remember the joy I felt, and do all that I can to call forward what I previously experienced.

The problem, it seems, isn’t in wanting more for ourselves, for our lives. It is in the convoluted thought that because we desire something that we do not currently have, that we are in a position of lack. It’s possible to wish for something so desperately that we end up placing this desire above our own worthiness of it.

"I don’t have it. I don’t know how to get it. What if I never will get it?"

***GET OUT! THIS MINDSET IS A BEAR-TRAP FOR DESIRE!!

I guess this mindset shift took place last weekend as I was anxiously running around doing errands. Really, it was a simple moment where I kindly told myself that it was way past my time to “be happy.” Despite circumstance. Despite any obstacles that crop up. Mood, I realized, trumps reality. Game over. End of story. And guess what came of simply shifting my mood?

Creative Flow.

Truthfully, I started this journey longer ago than I care to admit; writing and journaling, however, has a way of bringing out the ickiness of my soul. Too often, I focus on the concepts of self-growth and the places within myself that still need tweaking. I now make it a daily practice to remind myself of just how far I've come.

How quickly we all forget just how many mountains we've already climbed. Four years ago, I sat comfortably in my misery as if it were a cluttered room that I refused to clean. Some clutter still lines the floor of my room, but I’m now making deliberate choices to change that. I desire to rearrange my space for the betterment of my life. And therefore, it is my desire to have.

So… in that spirit, I hope the same for you, reader. Happiness, it appears, is only a small decision away. Get happy. Call forth your desires knowing that they are yours for the taking. You are certainly worthy of them.